it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
