Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
