dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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