would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
