If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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