i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
