Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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