Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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