Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
