I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
