fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
