I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
