every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
