pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
