im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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