what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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