I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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