Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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