Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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