i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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