Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
two words: eviction party
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
