Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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