Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
