it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
