How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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