Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
