dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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