nut hugger
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize