Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I want her autograph on my taint
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
