He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
