ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
