...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
