I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
