I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
