he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
