so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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