my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
