By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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