I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
