there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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