what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
