I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize