Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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