hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
