What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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