I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
