That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize