If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
