Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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