I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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