dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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