apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
