She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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