Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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