Betty ford says i'm here all night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
