The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
