well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize